Mike Gurr, Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy, spoke to Lon Woodbury, the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens on L.A. Talk Radio, about the topic of combating shame. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant, a prolific Amazon Kindle author, and the publisher of the industry-recognized Woodbury Reports. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Sedona Sky Academy is an all girls school in Rim Rock, Arizona. Here Mike Gurr serves as its Clinical Director. Prior to becoming a counselor after getting a master's degree in Professional Counseling from Argosy University, he was a coach in high schools and colleges because had obtained a masters degree from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science.
Combating Shame Improves Self Esteem
It is important that adolescents begin to address the problems of low self-esteem by combating shame, Mike believes.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Since America, as a whole, is a society that emphasizes the value of personal achievement, it uses shame as a tool to make young people take responsibility for their lives. However, the result is just the opposite. Shame creates either a sense of unwarranted entitlement or a sense of apathy and blame.
The best way to combat shame, said Mike, was to instill a sense of shame-resilience. This was the process of deflecting shaming triggers, becoming alert and aware about shame-inducing messages. This included spotting people and identifying environments that brought out a sense of shame. Shame could also be healed by learning how to be vulnerable, and by learning to how up, be seen, and be authentic. Someone who stopped caring what other people thought could experience joy, love, and creativity.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Sedona Sky Academy is an all girls school in Rim Rock, Arizona. Here Mike Gurr serves as its Clinical Director. Prior to becoming a counselor after getting a master's degree in Professional Counseling from Argosy University, he was a coach in high schools and colleges because had obtained a masters degree from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science.
Combating Shame Improves Self Esteem
It is important that adolescents begin to address the problems of low self-esteem by combating shame, Mike believes.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Since America, as a whole, is a society that emphasizes the value of personal achievement, it uses shame as a tool to make young people take responsibility for their lives. However, the result is just the opposite. Shame creates either a sense of unwarranted entitlement or a sense of apathy and blame.
The best way to combat shame, said Mike, was to instill a sense of shame-resilience. This was the process of deflecting shaming triggers, becoming alert and aware about shame-inducing messages. This included spotting people and identifying environments that brought out a sense of shame. Shame could also be healed by learning how to be vulnerable, and by learning to how up, be seen, and be authentic. Someone who stopped caring what other people thought could experience joy, love, and creativity.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
About the Author:
Find out more about Struggling Teens. Lon Woodbury has the recorded the entire interview on his L.A. Talk Radio show for people to listen to at any time.
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