It's easy to forget just how powerful our subconscious minds can be. We are often completely unaware of how our actions (or inaction) are affecting our lives. We may complain that things never work out for us, we always seem to have bad luck, or we just don't have what it takes to be successful.
But what many people fail to realize is that they are actually creating their own circumstances through subconscious self-sabotage (so in other words they have no idea they're actually creating their own problems).
To be able to relieve the problem of self-sabotage it's important to understand the role that fear and emotions play - especially when they are related to our actions. Finding the exact cause of any destructive behavior is the answer to being able to prevent it in the future. So how do you do this? Simple, learn from your failures and don't make the same mistakes twice. Why? Well if you can't identify the cause of the problem then how can you prevent it? But what exactly happens when we self-sabotage?
Often subconsciously, we may be frightened by a particular outcome, even though we say we want it. Take for example, losing weight. Many overweight people have struggled for years, tried diet after diet, and still can't lose the weight (or keep it off). They berate themselves, push themselves harder, and try to force the weight off. But what's happening beneath the surface? Do they really want to lose their excess pounds? They may say they do, but what if their layers of fat are providing a sense of protection and security in an uncertain world? What if they feel the need to cover up and conceal themselves? Losing weight then becomes a threatening, frightening possibility. So they might sabotage their diet efforts in order to avoid feeling too vulnerable and exposed. Even though they say they want to lose weight (and even believe they do) they still might set themselves up for failure by sneaking food, skipping exercise, and then making a promise that they'll try harder tomorrow.
Self-sabotage might also occur when we fear what other people will think of our efforts or we fear the results of actually achieving the goal. When you're worried about the consequences of your efforts (even if they are good) we tend to act in ways that will ensure failure. This doesn't mean we're aware we're doing it. Quite the opposite in fact. Self-sabotage means we are blissfully unaware that we are preventing ourselves from succeeding. We trick our mind into thinking that we're doing everything absolutely right. The key is to take some time and think for a minute about how you are behaving? Do you say you want something but do things that are inconsistent with that ambition? Do you say you want to get some work done but do anything else but the work? Do you feel that you just cannot accomplish your goals even if you try as hard as you possibly can? Do you feel you may not be worthy of your goal?
Fortunately, anyone can overcome self-sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it's happening (and that's not always easy!) So what's required is to develop a conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
If you've been struggling with a certain goal and things just don't seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that seem to have arisen for this one particular goal. Ask yourself what you may be afraid of? What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Can you think of anything at all?
When we take some time to understand how our subconscious mind works we can also come to realize that we are in control of our own destiny (successful or not!) With deeper understanding of our actions (and the impact they have) we can stop self-sabotage. And what happens when we become aware of our self-sabotage and can prevent it? Well, anything you want! When you remove the biggest obstacle to success (yourself) anything is possible for you.
But what many people fail to realize is that they are actually creating their own circumstances through subconscious self-sabotage (so in other words they have no idea they're actually creating their own problems).
To be able to relieve the problem of self-sabotage it's important to understand the role that fear and emotions play - especially when they are related to our actions. Finding the exact cause of any destructive behavior is the answer to being able to prevent it in the future. So how do you do this? Simple, learn from your failures and don't make the same mistakes twice. Why? Well if you can't identify the cause of the problem then how can you prevent it? But what exactly happens when we self-sabotage?
Often subconsciously, we may be frightened by a particular outcome, even though we say we want it. Take for example, losing weight. Many overweight people have struggled for years, tried diet after diet, and still can't lose the weight (or keep it off). They berate themselves, push themselves harder, and try to force the weight off. But what's happening beneath the surface? Do they really want to lose their excess pounds? They may say they do, but what if their layers of fat are providing a sense of protection and security in an uncertain world? What if they feel the need to cover up and conceal themselves? Losing weight then becomes a threatening, frightening possibility. So they might sabotage their diet efforts in order to avoid feeling too vulnerable and exposed. Even though they say they want to lose weight (and even believe they do) they still might set themselves up for failure by sneaking food, skipping exercise, and then making a promise that they'll try harder tomorrow.
Self-sabotage might also occur when we fear what other people will think of our efforts or we fear the results of actually achieving the goal. When you're worried about the consequences of your efforts (even if they are good) we tend to act in ways that will ensure failure. This doesn't mean we're aware we're doing it. Quite the opposite in fact. Self-sabotage means we are blissfully unaware that we are preventing ourselves from succeeding. We trick our mind into thinking that we're doing everything absolutely right. The key is to take some time and think for a minute about how you are behaving? Do you say you want something but do things that are inconsistent with that ambition? Do you say you want to get some work done but do anything else but the work? Do you feel that you just cannot accomplish your goals even if you try as hard as you possibly can? Do you feel you may not be worthy of your goal?
Fortunately, anyone can overcome self-sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it's happening (and that's not always easy!) So what's required is to develop a conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
If you've been struggling with a certain goal and things just don't seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that seem to have arisen for this one particular goal. Ask yourself what you may be afraid of? What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Can you think of anything at all?
When we take some time to understand how our subconscious mind works we can also come to realize that we are in control of our own destiny (successful or not!) With deeper understanding of our actions (and the impact they have) we can stop self-sabotage. And what happens when we become aware of our self-sabotage and can prevent it? Well, anything you want! When you remove the biggest obstacle to success (yourself) anything is possible for you.
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