Child discipline that is effective is always based on treating the child in a respectful way. Parents need to be in charge of children in non-harsh, respectful, firm, loving, and fair ways in order for the children to respond well to the discipline. If parents are disrespectfully in charge, the children may react with stubborn, retaliatory, or manipulative expressions of anger or with temper tantrums.
By being in charge, I'm referring to being the one or ones who are in authority, in command, managing, directing, running the show, responsible, and taking charge.
For any discipline method to be effective with children, it has to be respectful of them. What I mean by effective is that the child's compliance is obtained, without alienating the child from the parent. Counting children is an extremely effective way to restore compliance when it is momentarily lost. Counting, as you likely know, is the numeric warning given by parents to their children that if they choose not to "listen up" and do what they're told by the time the "magic" number is reached, they will be given immediate consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
One more aspect of highly effective discipline is that the reasonable consequence must nullify the benefits the child gained through the commission of the offense. That is, a consequence needs to be tough enough that the offender thinks the misbehavior wasn't worth it, but not so harsh that the child feels disrespected. For example, groundings must be long enough as well as short enough to produce a reaction somewhere near the middle of (1) the child feeling the benefit was worth the consequence, and (2) the child detesting your innards. My Grounding Formula and my Grounding Standardization Method are helpful tools to use when Grounding is a fitting consequence for a child. (That's another important aspect of consequences-that they fit the offense.)
Parents have multitudes of discipline techniques from which to choose. When assessing each one, it's helpful to remember the two most important criteria: (1) the use of the technique shows respect to the child, and (2) it appropriately and sufficiently, but not overly, gives a reasonable consequence for the child's offending behavior.
By being in charge, I'm referring to being the one or ones who are in authority, in command, managing, directing, running the show, responsible, and taking charge.
For any discipline method to be effective with children, it has to be respectful of them. What I mean by effective is that the child's compliance is obtained, without alienating the child from the parent. Counting children is an extremely effective way to restore compliance when it is momentarily lost. Counting, as you likely know, is the numeric warning given by parents to their children that if they choose not to "listen up" and do what they're told by the time the "magic" number is reached, they will be given immediate consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
One more aspect of highly effective discipline is that the reasonable consequence must nullify the benefits the child gained through the commission of the offense. That is, a consequence needs to be tough enough that the offender thinks the misbehavior wasn't worth it, but not so harsh that the child feels disrespected. For example, groundings must be long enough as well as short enough to produce a reaction somewhere near the middle of (1) the child feeling the benefit was worth the consequence, and (2) the child detesting your innards. My Grounding Formula and my Grounding Standardization Method are helpful tools to use when Grounding is a fitting consequence for a child. (That's another important aspect of consequences-that they fit the offense.)
Parents have multitudes of discipline techniques from which to choose. When assessing each one, it's helpful to remember the two most important criteria: (1) the use of the technique shows respect to the child, and (2) it appropriately and sufficiently, but not overly, gives a reasonable consequence for the child's offending behavior.
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Want to find out more about effective discipline, then visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for effective discipline advice for your needs.
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