Five Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

Many people find that when they are in a committed long-term relationship their sex lives can, over time, become perfunctory, routine, habitual, to be performed at certain times and ways each week. However, all it takes is a little thought and effort to make a difference and consequently improve your sex life.

Here are five ways to improve your sex life:

- Nurture your relationship. Be loyal and support feeling positive about each other, demonstrate interest in their interests, continue to care about each other's well-being, happiness and satisfaction and this will go a long way towards benefitting the relationship and as such help improve your sex life. When two people like each other they enjoy giving each other pleasure, a good time, a satisfying experience. Consideration, mutual respect and concern can enhance the sexual experience for both of you.

- Have fun. Sex can be a serious matter but it should also be fun. Your sex life may well be improved by being a little less inhibited. Why not spend time sensitively exploring your fantasies together; role play, dress up, shop for toys, watch a little pornography. Respectfully discuss what you'd both like to try, and then commit to experimenting with some of those suggestions. Perhaps take turns to offer ideas. A little encouragement may well help your partner gain in confidence and reveal his/her thoughts and fantasies once they feel that it is safe and fun to do so.

- Share information about what you like and don't like. Get to know your body, how it responds, what works for you and what doesn't. Share that information verbally, by physically guiding your partner or by moving to demonstrate how you're feeling, what you're liking, what not so much.

- Relax and agree that not every intimate encounter has to lead to full sexual intercourse. Sometimes we may be tired, stressed or simply not in the mood for full-on sex. Intimacy can also be about cuddling, touching, petting each other and that can be wonderfully enough. Sometimes sharing a bath, cooking their favourite food, giving each other a massage or snuggling up together and watching television can provide lovely intimate moments.

- Flirting with each other can be fun and yet another way to improve your sex life. Being sexy when you're out for an evening, playful, perhaps even a little provocative can build up sexual tension, excitement and remind you both of the sexual attraction and chemistry you have shared. Taking care to look after yourself, to keep yourself fit, attractive and healthy, paying attention to your personal hygiene, dressing with care; these are all things that can ensure that you continue to fancy each other and find each other desirable sexually.

Many things can interfere with a healthy sex life; work pressures, the arrival of children, health issues can all ensure that our desire for sex wanes, if not disappears completely. But a healthy sex life with our partner can strengthen the bond and connect two people in a very special way. It elevates the relationship from being simply a house share with a special friend into something far more intimate and meaningful.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples experiencing relationship difficulties to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.