Did You Talk Yourself Into Getting Married?

A lot of people tell me that they talked themselves into getting married.

They had a girlfriend that was really focused on marriage and after years (or maybe only months) of dating, she pressured him to pop the question.

After he delivers the ring, many interesting questions enter the groom's mind:

Is this really the right woman for me?
Am I really ready to get married?
What if I am making a mistake?
Have I dated enough women to be sure?
Does she have ulterior motives for marring me?
What does my family really think about her?
And on and on...

Society has an interesting way of shaping our thoughts and behavior. The marriage industry is huge. Of course, it is primarily focused on the women. Have you seen a Groom's Magazine on the newsstand? Of course not! (It would only be full of disclaimers and warnings anyway.) Men in general just aren't so focused on marriage. It is not in our DNA to be in a committed relationship. I personally am not against marriage. I am ad advocate for loving, monogamous relationships. I just don't think most of us knew what we were doing when we got married. And I also don't like it when we make mistakes and have to pay dearly for them.

I blame the media and advertisers that pump women's minds with the notion that marriage is the "be all and end all" to a successful life. If you aren't married, then you are considered an "Old Maid". What a horrific image to plant in women's minds if they aren't married.

Case in point: I know a woman with a roommate who is 110% focused on getting married. She describes going out to socialize as "husband hunting". She is even moving to another town since she believes she has exhausted her local supply of men. This is a disaster waiting to happen. But she will probably find some man that is overcome by her attention and takes the bait. And the reality is this is the model of how things happen in the world of marriage. How many of us fell for the exact same thing?

Leading up to the proposal, the sex gets really good. Women know instinctively that if they give us great sex we will lose our objectivity. All of the blood will stay rushed to our dick and not our mind, so we won't be able to think objectively about what's swirling around our head.

But what she doesn't realize is that by her cajoling the man to make a decision, both of their perceptions are skewed from reality.

So we convince ourselves that this is the absolute perfect woman for us and proceed to buy the ring and pop the question. Heaven forbid we would want to do something that didn't please our future bride. Besides, the sex is so darn good.

Then, before we have time to come up for air, the wheels are already in motion. Faster than the speed of light the date is set, the venue contract signed, DJ, flowers, wedding gown, bridesmaids' dresses, personalized candy mints and napkins, invitations... the list goes on and on. Your fiancée and her mother have the whole thing planned before you realize what just happened.

So once again you rationalize in your head that this is a good thing. If the marriage works out, then mazel tov to the bride and groom.

But if it doesn't, welcome to becoming an unhappily married man.

Steve is an author, public speaker and men's relationship acceleration coach that offers one-on-one coaching to help men rejuvenate the fun and love in their marriage virtually overnight.

Get your FREE download of: HOW TO ROMANCE YOUR WIFE IN MARRIAGE at http://www.mantomantalks.com