In the financial climate in this economy, divorces have climbed over 55 percent. Unrealistic expectations and just being tired can lead to this tragic event. Sure, there are some events that marriage cannot survive through. Like infidelity leading to another family, emotional cheating and addictions. This topic is not about those levels of marriage review. It's about the little things that can ruin the best laid plans.
The Grass is Never Greener on the Other Side
Ever. Life is hard and even more so when sharing it with someone else. Leaving the home field to be with another person isn't better. I am not comparing the realism of life with celebrity marriages here. Hurt is emphasized when women cry and men go into a drinking rage with friends. Anger is emphasized when items are thrown or screaming into the pillow wins. These outlets of emotions shows one thing. You still care. You can either grapple onto that shred of care and allow it to blossom or let it drift. The choice is yours.
Ever. Life is hard and even more so when sharing it with someone else. Leaving the home field to be with another person isn't better. I am not comparing the realism of life with celebrity marriages here. Hurt is emphasized when women cry and men go into a drinking rage with friends. Anger is emphasized when items are thrown or screaming into the pillow wins. These outlets of emotions shows one thing. You still care. You can either grapple onto that shred of care and allow it to blossom or let it drift. The choice is yours.
Certainly, there are times when separation and divorce are the final and only logical outlet. Especially, when you feel you have lost the emotion to care. This article isn't about that. This article isn't telling you to switch your feelings to on. This article is aimed at those want to know how to stop hurting and start being in love again with their partner.
Pride Be Damned!
Nothing is cute about the tears of hurt. They mar our hearts and make insecurity rise to the surface. Crying is also a cleansing. In the search to seek a connection with your spouse, be honest. Stop trying to meet hurt for hurt or final word for final word. Be honest, damnit! Even if that means you breakdown when you're talking about how much they mean to you. Tell them how much you love them and the only thing arguments do is hurt. They happen, you know they do, but maybe together, you both can configure an easier way to get over them.
Nothing is cute about the tears of hurt. They mar our hearts and make insecurity rise to the surface. Crying is also a cleansing. In the search to seek a connection with your spouse, be honest. Stop trying to meet hurt for hurt or final word for final word. Be honest, damnit! Even if that means you breakdown when you're talking about how much they mean to you. Tell them how much you love them and the only thing arguments do is hurt. They happen, you know they do, but maybe together, you both can configure an easier way to get over them.
Symbolism on Paper
Writing may be easier for you. Bring up an empty Word document or your electronic journal. Allow your emotions to escape. Share the special moments, the moments that break your heart when you're angry at one another. Those moments that made you think, "wow, I love them!" Don't add in the negative. Now is not the time. Share this with your love, the everything you want with them.
Writing may be easier for you. Bring up an empty Word document or your electronic journal. Allow your emotions to escape. Share the special moments, the moments that break your heart when you're angry at one another. Those moments that made you think, "wow, I love them!" Don't add in the negative. Now is not the time. Share this with your love, the everything you want with them.
Communication and Counseling
Without communication, any part of working through troubled times will never work. You have to be willing to talk, but most importantly? You have to be willing to listen. What you hear may be painful, but you have to be willing to understand where your partner is coming from. If this is difficult for you or leads to more arguments, it may be time to visit a counselor. A counselor can be the quiet rock in the storm, allowing each person to share their hurt, and start the healing process. Listening is essential, you both are hurting and the fact you both want to talk means that love exists.
Without communication, any part of working through troubled times will never work. You have to be willing to talk, but most importantly? You have to be willing to listen. What you hear may be painful, but you have to be willing to understand where your partner is coming from. If this is difficult for you or leads to more arguments, it may be time to visit a counselor. A counselor can be the quiet rock in the storm, allowing each person to share their hurt, and start the healing process. Listening is essential, you both are hurting and the fact you both want to talk means that love exists.
The Final Word
Relationships aren't easy and marriage is harder. It requires understanding and even when angry to withdraw from the emotion. Stop allowing the dishes and laundry to get you worked up. It's not worth the fight. Instead ask your loved one, your pookie bear, sweetie, darling to help you with them. Stop making it feel like work! You only have this one carnival ride to enjoy and make it worth it. Make it filled with laughs, debates that end with oh well and make it last!
Relationships aren't easy and marriage is harder. It requires understanding and even when angry to withdraw from the emotion. Stop allowing the dishes and laundry to get you worked up. It's not worth the fight. Instead ask your loved one, your pookie bear, sweetie, darling to help you with them. Stop making it feel like work! You only have this one carnival ride to enjoy and make it worth it. Make it filled with laughs, debates that end with oh well and make it last!
Seek a vacation to connect, even if that means a weekend out on the town. Support the idea of date night, no matter how busy your schedule is! Have fun most of all. Go to a miniature golf center, drive go-karts and bring laughs and youth back to your marriage.
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