Lust or Love

I've wondered, is there a difference between love and lust? Of course, by the definition obviously there is. I often wonder can you lust for a person you love. When we're speaking in terms of first encounters, no real interaction but a severe physical attraction to another's body, we automatically should understand this is pure lust. But how about someone you're in a committed relationship with. What do I mean-- well, perhaps this is quite blunt but I've learned in life there are those people we're attracted to both emotionally and physically; however, the emotional doesn't necessarily come right away as the physical. Initially we would describe this as a form of lust; at least I would. But, I've learned to understand it as both a form of lust and love (I've lusted to love) -- sounds crazy doesn't it? Well ask someone- I did, and the reply I received basically told me; having both love and lust in a relationship can make things interesting.

I asked a friend to describe her encounter with this intertwined affection. She began by saying, it was a feeling she had never felt before. She was absolutely fond of this particular person and held an extreme level of respect for them as well, but for some strange reason she lusted for him; be that as it may, in the midst of her lust she desired to love him just as much. I asked how she knew there was a difference. She replied- trust me, you will know. She began by giving me some intimate details; she was right- you will know the difference. I was so caught up in her reasoning; I thought I was speaking to a sex therapist after a minute. She explained, "I become bored very easily as well as my significant other. I also don't want to be in a traditional type relationship either; however, I want pure commitment from my mate. The only way I figured this would last and stay alive was make some fun out of it. Instead of just loving him, I decided I will love when it calls for it but I will lust for the mere fact that I want our love making to be explosive". She went on to inform me she believed that most people cheat on their mates due to boredom; they wanted and needed more excitement; she agreed as well as her mate bringing her and him to a point of love and lust, but knowing the difference.

I couldn't say much because first of all, this was her personal choice to view love and lust the way she has; and trust me, it was great insight. Second, her mate didn't have any objections to her responses. As a matter of fact I truly believe they have a very strong connection and it's not only due to their exciting sex life; although that seems to be pretty steamy. But you could also see the love that they had for one another.

So, is there really a significant difference in lust and love? Of course love and lust are different but when put together they are sure to make a difference. Most of us look at love as spending quality time and constant conversation, and having a mutual understanding and respect-- well at least enough to satisfy and feel loved. But on the other hand I believe in my friend's idea of what a relationship needs; and lust is definitely something I would incorporate even if it's on occasion just to break the monotony.

I desire all the things that love has to offer two people; however, I can't take away from the fact that my friend is right when she says, "she lust for the one she loves"; something that's sure to make a relationship last. As a matter of fact, I also believe it brings a certain spontaneity that regular love is unable to bring; who doesn't want that.